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January 04, 2004
say hello to the angels
relaxing on a slowly leaking air mattress in the bedroom of my new flat in Park Slope. think I might be allergic to the fake cashmere blanket I bought today. coughing every minute or two. will probably have a hole in my throat by morning.
feeling... overwhelmed. lonely. maybe a little scared. I keep thinking that I'll roll over and wake up in my bed in San Francisco, where everything's just as I remember it, and days pass according to patterns and routines long established. everything's an adventure in New York- getting around the city, figuring out where to buy certain things, even simply finding a meal. maybe part of getting older is increased difficulty coping with massive change. my last move was so easy and fun. I had stars in my eyes. never longed for my old home, especially not in the first week.
that's not to say I'm not enjoying myself. my friends have been showing me a great time. I've seen a movie every day since I've been here. twice this week I have stumbled home at 5-6am after a long night of partying. the staff at the diner around the corner are already getting used to my lo-carb routine. so it's not all doom and gloom. I know I'll feel better about everything once my stuff gets here and I'm surrounded by familiar things and have somewhere comfortable to hang out. I'm just surprised at how much harder than expected this adjustment is turning out to be.
Posted by bcm at January 4, 2004 08:46 PM