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November 28, 2003
sober
going it solo on Thanksgiving was the right choice. I always operate better on my own schedule, without the pressure and expectations of friends and family. made a big breakfast and chilled at home for the morning, then caught a couple flicks at the Metreon - School of Rock and Love Actually. who'd have thought Jack Black could be funny for two hours without saying fuck once?
[warning cynical friends: potential sappiness ahead] the rom com got me thinking about the incidence of love in my life. for the first time in a while, I lack a crush to get me all moony. sure, I'm in heat, but I don't have the butterflies in my gut at the moment. which is one of the many reasons I'm cutting out to NY- if anything was going to happen for me here, it would have by now.
it occurred to me recently that i have zero life goals. the one big failure I can point to is dropping out of college, which I hope to fix by going back in 2005. otherwise, I can't think of anything I'm burning to do. seems like after a certain point biology dictates that the aim of existence is to settle down with a mate, reproduce, and maintain a career in order to provide for the family. other considerations become more trouble than they're worth. all of which explains why my mind has been on women so much the last year or so. if I wait much longer, I'll be too old, blind and stiff to play catch with my kid when he's of age to join the school sports team!
Posted by bcm at November 28, 2003 12:39 AM